amazed and afraid

There are so many descriptions of how we react to Jesus - thankful, joyful, awed, loved, convicted, cared for, etc. etc. Mark 10:32 gives interesting descriptive words... amazed and afraid.
What do these follow? They follow Jesus teaching some hard to understand parables - about the rich young ruler and how difficult it is for a camel to go through the eye of a needle and leaving loved ones for His sake and the first being last... some that are difficult to get the correct meaning and others that we simply don't want to 'get it.'
We should ALWAYS be amazed and afraid; these are elements that will by necessity, by the very fact that Jesus is God, be a portion of the equation of understanding. Jesus is about something bigger than what we see and understand for the moment and we will never 'get' all of it until we see Him face to face. At the beginning of our Christian life we were sure that we knew all about Jesus and how to follow and what it all meant; but as we go on, we are not so sure. He takes us places we are not sure we want to go and that we are not sure are from Him. 'There is an aspect of Jesus that chills the heart of a disciple to the core and makes the whole spiritual life gasp for breath." (O. Chambers)
Yet - when we add in Hebrews 2:8 -'...he left NOTHING outside his control.' At present, we do not yet see everything in subjection to him. BUT we see him..' Two new elements (1) there is nothing outside of His control. WOW!! How can that be?? I really don't want to believe that always - for if I do believe it, it means I must make the decision to trust Him or not. What about the 'bad' things? I guess it comes down to my definition of 'bad.' (I think I am getting into an area where it is dangerous to try to put things into words - it is so easy to say it wrong and not fully - and be totally misunderstood.)
So herein comes some of the amazement and the 'afraid.' Amazed at His overarching and all-inclusive plan - and afraid of the meanings for now. So how do we live? here is the Second element - Heb 2:9 is the solution - .."But we see Jesus..." We must learn to get out of the situation and look at the character and person of God - who He is and how He loves me.
I must 'set my mind on things above.' (Phil. 4:8) I must 'Look to Jesus , the author and finisher of my faith.' (Heb12:1-3)
It is not an easy walk - but we have all of the Holy Spirit within us to enable us to do it. Only in dependence on Him can we walk with Christ - and as we are human, it will be with amazement and fear.